Without Thinking

Note: This story takes place after 'Epiphany'. Just suppose Kate has joined AI and they're all gone to Sunnydale to help the Scoobies. To make it simple, I'm assuming Angel still owns the mansion and that's where they're staying.

"OK. Now, would you mind telling me what the hell took you so long last night? You and Giles were gone for ages!" Angel sounded really annoyed while saying that.

Kate smirked. "What the hell has got into you?", she retorted. "You know damn well what we were doing. We needed those books. They were at his place. We went there to get them. What's not to get about that?"

"It took you three and a half hours to go there and bring back some books? Sunnydale is not that big, you know." Now he was really pissed.

"Well, maybe we talked a bit. Took some time to get to know each other better. That's not a crime, is it?" He was starting to get on her nerves. "What's the point with the third-degree, anyway?"

"You just should know better than that. We've got a situation here and there's no time for you to have some tea with Mr. Giles, if that's what you were doing."

"You don't have to remind me of that. I'm perfectly aware of it. Now will you stop this nonsense and let me get some rest?", she replied.

She started to leave the room, but he grabbed her arm. He was not finished yet.

"He's much too old for you.", he said in a cold voice.

"Really? Wow! That coming from a 250-year old vampire who used to date a teenager is rather funny, don't you think?" She was getting angry now.

"That was different!", he almost screamed, though he was not sure how exactly different it was, really.

"Oh, sure! You were madly in love with her and that justifies anything, right?" She wasn't going to let him get away with that. "Besides, you've got nothing to do with my life. You see, I" and she made a point of stressing the 'I' "am a grown-up woman and whatever I do with another grown-up out of free-will and under the limits of the law concerns no one else but me and said grown-up!"

"Right! Next you'll be telling me what color are his sheets!", he screamed, at the top of his lungs.

"Blue! They're blue! Is that all you want to know? Or do you care about the color of his underwear, too?" There was a deadpan expression all over her face.

He stopped, almost in shock. Was she serious? He couldn't tell. He couldn't even think, as a matter of fact. All the while he had been looking for some reassurance, expecting she'd laugh at the very idea of having anything to do with Giles. But now...

"Look, I'm tired and this isn't getting us anywhere, so..." She couldn't finish what she was saying. Angel just swept her off her feet, kissing her deeply in a seemingly desperate way.

She didn't react at first. She didn't know how. What was going on with him, anyway? Yet he kept kissing her and his lips demanded a response. Soon she found herself letting go, surrendering to the sensations that engulfed her. He was a vampire, yes. And she had tried to get him out of her mind ever since she found out the truth, but how?

Before either one realized what they were doing they were in his room and then, even if they did, there was no way they would have stopped.

Angel looked at Kate, lying there beside him. He was still wary that the curse might kick in, but he didn't regret it at all. She was so beautiful, sleeping so peacefully by his side...

He didn't fear the curse that much, though. He wasn't thinking, that's right. But how could he be perfectly happy when the thought of her and Giles didn't leave him for a second? Of course, now that he came to think of it, he hadn't smelled any proof of what she had said. And he should have been able to...

He looked at her again. There was more to it than had seemed at first. They would have to tell the others. The bite in her neck was quite visible, so how could they not tell? He thought of that for a while, still looking at her, studying the marks. Strange as it might seem, he had managed to hit the same spot again. He didn't know how and he really didn't care much about that. All he knew was that he had done it. He couldn't help it. He had tried, but then...

He had thought she'd be angry for that. Yet, when she looked at him afterwards, there was a rather contented air to her face. Would the others also take it so easily?

It had been a rough day. Much to do and also the hanging feeling throughout it that they should have spilled it to the others. But with all that was already going on, they just decided against it. Kate had a turtleneck on and no one noticed anything. This actually surprised Angel, to tell the truth. Not because of the marks since they couldn't be seen, but his whole interaction with Kate had been affected by what had happened. He felt it should be quite obvious to his friends, yet they were oblivious to it.

Now they were home to a well-deserved rest. Alone, since the group had decided to take shifts, just for safety. He turned to her and could see she was thinking the same. So, without another word, they headed to his room.

They didn't have much time. They were supposed to just get some more weapons and meet their friends. Nonetheless, as soon as they crossed the threshold he was all over her.

"Angel, please! Not in the living room. What if the others come after us?" She wasn't really trying to stop him, though she knew there wasn't time for that.

With a grumble and without letting go of her, he started towards the room. Stumbling all the way down the corridor, they managed to make it to the kitchen. Good enough, he thought.

He sat her on top of the counter and started reaching under her skirt.

"Angel! We're in the kitchen!", she moaned.

"So? It's not the living room, right?" He was much too busy to care for details.

It didn't take so long this time. After all, they were in a hurry!

She kissed him on the lips and then stopped. He still had blood on them. Her blood.

She licked her own lips, tasting the blood that was now on them too. Now, Kate was never the fragile type, who would shiver at the mere sight of blood and, of course, she had tasted her own blood before, yet...

He examined her face, looking for signs of disgust. There was none. Instead, there was a quizzical expression, almost curious really.

She leaned to kiss him again and was surprised when he held her back. In a rather studied way, he reached for the drawer and pulled a knife, while unbuttoning the top of his shirt. With a swift move, he cut through his chest. His eyes never left her face. He wasn't so sure why he was doing that, so he just waited for her reaction.

Her eyes widened a bit, at first. But then, much to her own surprise, she found herself willingly kissing his chest, licking and sucking the blood on it. It didn't feel like she would have thought... No, it was actually good to share this with him. She felt as close to him as possible by doing that and he, in turn, marvelled at it. He, too, felt close. Her blood running through him made him feel warm, but most of all it made him feel like she somehow belonged to him, with him...

A noise brought them back to reality. The others... They were all there, staring at them.

"Oh, my God! He's turned her!", someone said. Kate didn't really get who said it, as she was much too startled at the sudden realization of its meaning. She raised her eyes to meet Angel's and saw the same befuddled gaze in his face. What had he done?

"No, he didn't. She's nowhere near death. Just look at her." It was Wesley speaking.

"I'm looking and I see puncture marks in her neck! How about that?", said Xander.

"Wesley is right. It takes being drained almost to death to turn someone into a vampire. Now, everybody get out!" Giles' voice was so commanding no one dared to discuss it further. They all just left, except for Wesley, who gave Giles a strange look before turning to them and speaking.

"You'd better make yourselves presentable now. We shall be waiting outside."

With that, both men left without another word, their faces grave.

Kate and Angel stayed there for a minute, still trying to get a grasp of the situation. What had just happened, after all? They didn't know. But they felt so close still that, before they moved on, their lips touched yet another time, ever so slightly.

The group was gathered back at Buffy's. It was over. It was long and it was hard, but they had done it and, now that they had done it, nobody felt like talking much about it. So they moved to the next best thing: what had happened between Kate and Angel.

The two suffered through an interrogation and lots of crazy speculation until everyone realized Giles and Wesley had been keeping quiet all along. They still had the same look on their faces. The whole group turned to them and soon they were the ones being interrogated. It took a while to get the truth out of them, but they finally spilt it.

The explanation was long and complicated. It went back to the very first vampire, created by the last demon to leave this dimension before he was gone. It turned out the first vampire was married and, upon coming back from the dead, was gladly greeted back by his wife. It all seemed like a miracle and when he felt the urge to feed, not knowing exactly what to do since there was no other to guide him on the ways of the vampire, he fed from his wife. Still, his memories of life and love were too fresh. So, he didn't kill her. Instead, he kept feeding from her. Only, on the third consecutive night, for some reason he had her drink him too. And that changed her somehow. They just didn't know how much!

The first vampire kept drinking his wife and feeding mostly on animals. But, in a time and place where man had barely begun keeping animals, that didn't hold for long. Of course, his first human victim wasn't as willing as his wife. He ended up draining the man almost to death and tried to help it by giving him some of his own blood. It didn't help. Instead, it created another vampire. Soon there were more and some victims just died without ever being turned. Their viciousness increased quickly too. In no time there wasn't a shade left of her beloved husband and the wife made a hard decision to save the rest of the tribe. She slayed her husband and most of the vampires around. Some managed to escape, only to come back later after growing in numbers. They eventually wounded the first slayer to death, but had to leave running from the sunrise. The shaman tried to cure her, to no avail. Still, joining forces with her, he cast a spell. When she died, her gift was transmitted to another one and a lineage was created. The shaman took to himself the duty of watching over each one of them, as slayer after slayer fought and died protecting their kind. He handed that duty to his successor upon dying, thus creating the Watchers' tradition.

The silence after Giles and Wesley ended their explanation didn't last for long. Before they could take a deep breath, questions were flying all over the place:

"The first slayer was married to a vampire?"

"She was no more than a failed attempt at making another vampire?"

"Why didn't they make any more slayers, anyway?"

"Hey, does that mean Kate is a slayer now?"

The two men had a pained expression now. They just knew this would happen... Lots of questions, yet no one would wait for or listen to the answers. They finally managed to calm them all down.

"Now, now. No others slayers were made since that wouldn't make sense, would it? Wasn't it enough to have a lineage of them? Do you really think any vampire would have an interest in that?" Giles was tired, but he kept explaining. "It was soon incorporated to their instincts, you see. Either kill or turn a victim."

"Right! That's the 'no playing with food rule!'", Xander tried to lighten up a bit. No one really cared for the joke, though.

"What about Kate? Is she a slayer now?", asked Buffy.

"No, I don't think so. Angel is powerful, yet he's no first vampire. We should expect changes, anyhow.", said Giles.

"The truth is: only time will tell.", concluded Wesley.

Months later, back at the Hyperion, Cordelia still had doubts.

"So, how's she doing? Can you tell yet?"

"Well, I'm bloody sure she can't take a slayer. But she is changed. She's much stronger now and there's been an increase on some other skills and abilities also.", Wesley granted.

"You know what I've never got? Those two are almost inseparable now. Always cuddling and smiling. Doing it like rabbits... Now, I don't want to sound judgemental. I'm actually glad Angel has got some company. Kate is great for him and all that... Yadda, yadda, yadda. You know what I mean. The point is: how come the curse never kicked in?"

"I guess he's just not 'perfectly' happy...", said Wes.

In the new upstairs training room, Kate and Angel were in a break.

Angel, sitting on a table, was hugging her from behind.

"We're supposed to be training, you know." Kate's voice was unconvincing.

"Yes, I know. Just give me another minute." He went back to his careful study of her neck. He loved her neck, her face, her whole body. As a matter of fact... It was better not to think too much.

He kept remembering how he had thought of her while doing it with Darla. He almost lost his soul that night. Not because of Darla, no. She was the one to save him, by bringing him back to reality. In his fantasy, Kate just took her place, soft and warm... He had wanted so badly for it all to be different that night. He was hurting inside, having lost all hope. And then, Kate had lost it too and she blamed him. For a moment there, he had let his imagination take over, making it alright so the two of them would be happy and in each other's arms. He didn't even realize back then how much he wanted that.

And, after that, he saved her. He was profoundly grateful for that. He wouldn't have been able to live with himself if he didn't. He loved her so much! And yet, he never told her that. He was just too afraid to lose her and he would, if he did. No matter what. He wasn't sure what would be worst really: to declare his love and have her tell she loved him too, so he'd possibly burst with joy and lose his soul for good this time or... to hear her say she just didn't share his feelings, which would throw him off his ground. So he just kept it to himself...

Kate turned around to face him.

"You're awfully quiet. Is something wrong?"

"No. Not really...", he said, kissing her softly.

Yes, it was better not to think, indeed...