Comfort Level

 D’Oblique. Still open! Angel couldn’t help the surprise he felt in passing by and finding the bar was still in business. He had heard these places never lasted for long and it had been more than two years since he was there. He stopped the car and looked at the entrance.

Memories engulfed him for a moment. After giving it some thought, he decided to go in. They say you can never go home... But that wasn’t home, right? As he walked down the stairs, his glance traveled towards the bar. And there she was, in the right same spot. Kate...

He couldn’t believe it! And yet he was happy to find her there.

"Kate! Hi! It’s been a while..."

"Hi, stranger! Name’s Elisabeth, but that’s close enough.", replied a smiling face.

Angel was startled to realize the woman who turned around to see who was touching her shoulder wasn’t Kate.

"Err, sorry! I thought you were a friend of mine.", he said, a bit embarrassed. "Oh, yeah! Sure!" The look on her face made it clear she had heard that line one too many times.

He tried to smile in return, but instead he gulped and murmured an excuse before leaving as fast as he could.

It’s true. You can never go home... Yet some things never change.

Once outside, he stopped again.

There was a strange feeling hanging over him, one he could not fight. Kate’s apartment wasn’t very far from there... So he decided to pay her a visit.

It wasn’t quite what he expected...

The sleep tee she was wearing and her slightly drowsy air called to his attention the fact that it was well past visiting hours... Kate laughed, trying to make things easier as it wasn’t hard to figure out what was going on on his mind.

"I should have guessed only a vampire would knock at someone’s door this late.

Come on in, Angel."

"So... What brings you here? You know I can’t get you any information anymore. Are you just checking to make sure I’m behaving or what?" The smile on her face was curious.

"As a matter of fact, I’m not sure why I’m here...", he started, taking in her inquisitive expression. "It’s just that I was going home and happened to come across the D’Oblique. Do you remember it?"

"Of course. That’s the place where we first met." Her smile broadened with the memory.

"Well, I... I went in. I don’t know why, really. I mean, I hated that place." He waited for her to say something, but she didn’t. "Anyway, I went in and saw this woman at the bar. And she looked just like you... from behind, at least. So I approached her and was all ‘Hi, Kate!’..."

"And she thought you were hitting on her." Kate was laughing now. "Yeah, that was pretty much it." Angel raised his hand to scratch the back of his head the way he always did when he felt bashful. Looking at him do that, she recalled finding his shyness truly adorable from the very beginning.

"And now you here to see me because you know I would never think that..."

"Think what?" It was his turn to be curious.

"That you’re hitting on me."

Angel stared at her pointedly for a moment. Then, he tried to change subjects.

"So, what how are you doing now? Got another job?" "Yep. Nothing so interesting, but it pays the rent." She sat down and gestured for him to follow her example. "What about you?" "Oh, it’s been good. The guys are talking to me again, which is a big deal after all that happened, I guess." He grinned.

"I’d think so.", she complied.

All at once, she seemed to remind something.

"You know, I never asked if you wanted anything to drink. Let’s see, I’ve got coffee and beer and some other booze. I’m out of vodka, though..." She sniggered at herself.

Angel smirked sympathetically.

"Never mind. I’m fine.", he declined.

"Right. I forgot you’re a vampire. You’d probably want blood and I don’t have that here. I mean..." She paused, looking for the right words, and found herself instinctively touching her neck.

Tittering a bit, she said:

"There! It was about time. After all, it never fails..."

"’What... what are talking about. Kate? What never fails?" He was confused. "This! I call it ‘The uncomfortable moment’. It’s when everything suddenly feels awkward, you know." Another nervous laugh and she continued. "It’s funny, actually. Because... if you think back, you’ll find there’s never been one single occasion when it hasn’t happened at least once while we were together. And this must be some kind of record ‘cause, well, it happens when I’m around other people, but... never so often."

"I know what you mean..." Angel lowered his head. "Why do you think it happens to us all the time?" She looked away as she didn’t really expect an answer.

Raising his eyes, Angel could see the scars on her neck. Not ugly, but very noticeable.

"I don’t know about all the time, but this time..." He reached for the marks. "I guess it’s pretty clear."

She winced at his touch, but tried to dismiss the feeling... "Yeah. I’ve had men nibbling at my neck before, but it usually stopped showing after a couple of days..."

He stared at her for the second time that evening. A long gaze as if he was studying her...

Then he moved closer.

After a brief exchange of glances, Kate turned her face away from him, trying to avoid going further into that issue.

But Angel moved even closer and started nibbling at her neck. She stiffened at first, afraid he’d drink her. But she soon realized that was not his intention.

"A hickey? You gave me a hickey!"

Kate stood in front of the mirror in utter disbelief of what she was seeing.

"What the hell were you thinking, Angel? Why did you do this?"

His fingers encountered hers over the spot and that baffled her for a second.

Then she turned around to face him.

"So? I’m waiting for an answer here! Say something!"

Angel kept averting his eyes as he muttered:

"I don’t know, Kate! I don’t know what came over me!"

"Gee! That’s comforting! Really comforting!", she cried, all peeved. "Comforting...", he repeated. "No, I guess this is not comforting at all. But then, why should it be? Isn’t everything between us about not being comfortable... ever?"

He draw an unnecessary breath and went on raving. "Kate, how many times have we saved each other’s lives? How many times have we faced danger together? We’ve been through so much! And we’re so alike! God! There’s been times when I’d look at you or hear you talking and I’d see me there going through each and every thing as if it was all happening to me! I know you, Kate! And you know me! We know each other better than we want to admit. And maybe that’s why we feel so uncomfortable around each other..." She seemed shocked at his sudden burst of eloquence.

"That still doesn’t explain why you did this...", she whispered. Angel sighed and looked upwards. His exasperation giving place to a quiet sadness.

"You know... Tonight, when I saw that woman and thought it was you, I felt... hope. It makes no sense, I know. But somehow I felt maybe we’d have a chance to start anew. And I really wanted that. I wanted to be around you and find myself at home. ‘Cause something tells me..."

He looked at her... Right at her. A piercing look.

"I can never be just a hickey to you, Kate. Those men... They were hickeys. Only hickeys. But I... I can be a hickey too, you see. But not just that. This." He pointed to the scars on her neck. "This is me. And you. You may not see it, but now I realize I bear scars too."

Tears were rolling down their eyes as they hugged each other... Finally finding some comfort in their togetherness.

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