Coming to Terms

 "Buffy, are you OK?", Angel sounded quite frantic. "Yeah, I’m fine." Not thanks to you, she thought. But she didn’t say it.

Angel could see it in her face, though. It was right there, clear as could be...

And there was nothing he could say to make up for it, really. He had only a split second to reach a decision. He could only save one of them... So, he decided to save Kate, hoping Buffy would be able to help herself.

And it seemed he had made the right choice, after all, for both women were alive! Yet, he knew Buffy was hurt. And not only physically... Buffy... She would always be a part of him. He just knew that. Wherever he’d go, whenever that was... She would always be there. That would never change. What they had was so precious, so special...

Still, he made another crucial decision two years before and there was just no coming back. He suffered a lot those two years and he knew it wasn’t easy for her, either. She moved on, all right. But...

He looked at her, deeply. Then, he turned around and looked at Kate. Kate... Their relationship had always been so troubled... She was the first person he built a relationship with that had no previous knowledge of all that was going on around her. All the others knew or, at least, had a clue on it. She didn’t. And he should have handled it better, only he was at a complete loss on how to do that.

It all went so wrong... He still regretted the way she came to learn the truth about him. And all that happened with her father... He didn’t want it to go that way. But then, if he had the power to change past events, he would never had been turned in the first place. No, if he could go back in time, he would change it all. His father would have been proud of him... It all seemed so different now, from the distance.

But then again, he would never had met Buffy... or Kate. He was at odds with himself, right then. He kept looking at the two women as he tried to figure out if his choice had really been made out of chances, solely. He was perfectly aware that Kate would never had been able to survive without his help. Not at that situation. Supernatural strength was an absolute requisite there. Buffy had it, Kate didn’t. But, that wasn’t all there was to it and he knew that, too. In fact, taking Kate away from the danger had served to put Buffy on the spot even more.

Buffy had saved his life several times before and so had Kate. He had sacrificed for both of them, too. And he had also tasted them both... Their taste... He could still feel it...

Buffy’s was strong, just like herself. But, Kate’s... She was sweet. It was strange, really. He could remember how it had stricken him as odd. He had expected it to be somewhat salty as fear always did that. And she was afraid, terrified even. Yet, her blood was sweet as honey like no other he had ever tasted.

He never told her that, of course. Just as he never told her lots of other things...

Coming to think of that, he realized what were the grounds for his decision...