Reckoning

"It's been a while since I last came here.", Kate said as she deposited a flower on her father's grave. "You should remember. You were with me that night." She paused. "That night... I've often wondered if I'd still have my job if things had been different that night."

"Well... I'm sorry for that, you know. For you losing your job, I mean." Angel was uneasy. "But I had to stop them. They were dangerous. I agree my methods weren't exactly... pleasant. But it was necessary!"

"Yes, I know that. I'm not trying to start an argument, Angel." She sighed. "It's just that I didn't have the courage to come back here after that. I keep thinking about dad and what he'd say if he knew what happened... Did I tell you one of the guys said he was happy dad was not there to see me fired?"

Angel said nothing. He just lowered his head. He knew perfectly well how mean people can be at times like that.

"Anyway, I'm glad you're here with me." Kate kept speaking. "It's weird, but somehow I don't think I could go through this alone." She sighed again. "I spent all my life trying to be what he wanted me to be and, when I became a cop, I thought I had achieved something, you know. Now, I'm not sure... He never told me to be a cop. He never told me anything: what he wanted me to do, what he wanted me to be... In fact, the only thing I remember him telling me, ever, was that it wasn't good to be alone. And that was the last thing he ever told me, as a matter of fact. The very last thing he told me the day he died..."

Angel was growing wary of the way that conversation was turning. Now, they were back to the day her father died... An issue they never talked about, though it should have been settled a long time ago.

"Kate, about that day..." Angel didn't really know what to say. He wanted to put it behind them as he felt that was the only problem standing in the way of their... friendship, but what could he say to make things better?

"Don't say anything, Angel. There's nothing you can say, really. I think we both know that."

"But... I tried, Kate. I really did."

"You should have told me what was going on, Angel. Come on, you knew something. Do you think I'm stupid or what?" She was breathing heavily, now. "My father asked me out for lunch that day. To ask about you. Lots of questions about a guy he only saw once. Why would he do that unless something was going on? And then, I went to your office. I told you to keep me on the loop, didn't I? And did you do that? Did you tell me what you knew about my father, Angel? No! No, you kept me in the dark until it was too late, Angel! I reached to you after you had already betrayed my trust once only to have you do it again!" She was obviously distraught.

"So I made a mistake! More than one, maybe. But what did you expect me to do, Kate? You were already mad at me. You were driving me apart. How could I tell you your father was involved in some dishonest scheme? Specially when I wasn't even sure what that scheme was all about." Angel was nervously staring at her back as she had turned away from him. "I called you as soon as I had something solid to inform. And I ran there to try to save him. He didn't let me in, Kate! Now, what could I do?"

"He didn't let you in? And why should he, Angel? Did he have any reason to trust you? Any reason at all? What the hell happened between you two for him to come to me asking questions about you?" She was screaming, now.

"Well... I confronted him, that's right! I wanted him to see he might hurt you with his behavior. And that's part of the reason I didn't tell you about it. Because I didn't want to hurt you, Kate!"

"Oh, that's great! You didn't want to hurt me... So, that's probably the reason you told me all those shameless lies, right? To protect me?" She laughed. A bitter laugh. "If you cared that much about me, why didn't you tell me the truth in the first place, Angel? Then, I wouldn't be mad at you and you could have warned me about dad!"

"I never lied to you, Kate! I didn't tell you the truth, but I didn't lie, either." He tried to reason. "Kate, listen to me. You were the first person I ever built a relationship with that had absolutely no clue on the existence of vampires... All the others knew or, at least, had reasons to suspect it. And even they had trouble accepting me for what I am now. How could I tell you? It's not easy. You should know that! You didn't tell your father either, did you?"

Kate turned around to face him. She was suddenly pale. Angel could see something was terribly wrong. What had he said to bring about that reaction?

"Do you think he would have let you in...?" Her voice was trembling. "Or maybe he wouldn't have let them in. Maybe he would have been more careful..."

Her mind was racing and so was her heart. Angel could hear it as its pace grew out of control.

Before he could say anything, she started sobbing. The sobbing turned into wailing and soon her face was covered in sorrowful streams of tears.

Angel looked at her, paralyzed in fear. He had no idea, whatsoever, of what he should do or say. They had been through this before, in this very same place. And once again all he could do was to watch her cry.

But then, after long moments of hesitation, Angel reached to her. He held her in his arms, closely. And he started stroking her hair, then her face... He kissed her softly on the forehead and on her eyes while gently wiping her tears.

"Don't cry, Kate. It's done, now. Nothing we can do will change it. Believe me, if I could... If I could, it'd all be very different. I'd never had made you suffer. Never!" Angel was crying too.

A light rain started to fall, washing away the resentments and all the misunderstandings... As they looked at each other, they knew that once and for all it was over. It still hurt, but they were finally ready to put it all behind them.

Kate smiled, a sweet smile on a face all wet from tears and rain. Angel seemed puzzled by the sudden smile...

"Dad was right. It's not good to be alone. Only... I'm not!", she said.

It was Angel's turn to smile a sweet smile of his own.

"No, Kate. You're not."