Thirst

"So, how did she like them?" Kate was happy to see Angel smiling.

"Oh, it was great! She loved everything. She changed into all of them like a million times! I really must thank you for helping me buy those..." He looked at her and there was cheerful contentment in his eyes. "I'd never be able to do that on my own."

"Come on, a hundred plus years of living with Darla and you're gonna tell me you never learned what to buy to make a woman happy?", she joked.

"Well, I do know a lot about jewels... and nineteenth century fashion! But somehow I don't think that would strike her fancy! ...The old clothes, I mean!" He was laughing, now.

Kate felt delighted to watch Angel as he went on a detailed description of every single face and gesture of both Cordelia and Wesley. She had never seen him like this before... He was actually having fun, enjoying himself! It was like she had just met a different person. A different lively person.

And Kate was enjoying it, too. Everything had been so hard for her lately that she felt like she could use a break.

So, she let him prattle and she encouraged him to go on and on...

They had been having these brief encounters every couple of nights. They'd meet somewhere and have some coffee or a drink and chatter a bit. Some nights it'd be really nice and easy like this one. Other nights had been more about bits of silence and shreds of information on his past.

She came to like either kind. It was good to learn more about him, but the chummy feeling she'd get from all the laughing and joking was even better.

He walked her home. Hours had passed since they started talking. In fact, they had walked past her building three times already. It seemed they didn't want the night to end.

Kate felt funny. She was willing to keep their conversation for a long time still, but what was she to do? Inviting him over for coffee would be dumb after all the coffee they had already had. And she told him so.

Angel smiled and offered:

"Well, it is true we had a lot of coffee! That's all the more reason for us to want to keep babbling, don't you think?"

"Yes... I guess you're right. I don't think I'll be able to sleep for hours to come!"

She paused for a moment, then said:

"Oh, what the hell! Let's just go to my apartment and talk it through. We don't need coffee or anything, do we?"

When the morning came, they were still there.

Kate was finally starting to give in to sleep and Angel was kind of amused by her efforts to stay awake.

He remembered the last time he spent talking the night away... It was a very different experience, indeed.

Angel shook his head, trying to get rid of the memories.

When he looked again, he saw Kate had fallen asleep.

He took her to her bedroom and tucked her in. Then he prepared to leave. Only he realized he couldn't go out. It was day already and there was no convenient way to go back to the hotel at that time.

He called Wesley and explained he was trapped by sunlight. He had expected Wes to ask him a bunch of questions about that, but he didn't. So he figured Wesley was probably still mad at him.

Angel tried to make himself comfortable on the couch and take a nap. But... He couldn't. Kate's couch was not large enough for him and there was no way he could manage to get some decent rest.

He rolled over and over again, before giving up any hope of sleeping at all.

Pacing up and down impatiently, Angel felt his good mood melting away. He wasn't up for laughs anymore as there was no one to laugh with.

He tried to stay positive, thinking of all the stupid things Harmony had said and done. But, once again, he failed. Somehow, all he could remember was how very annoying she was.

The memory of her reaction to the pig's blood made him shiver. No matter how much he tried to forget that part, he just couldn't.

Human blood was really much better! But it was not as easy to get. Not if you had scruples.

Angel found himself peeking into Kate's bedroom.

There she was, sleeping peacefully. She had no idea of the torment he was into looking at her like that.

Her blood... He could still taste it in his mouth. All he had to do was close his eyes and there it was. The memory was vivid! Not only he could feel her taste, he could also feel her in his arms. The sensations of having her so close came back in a wave of thirst so violent he didn't know how to cope with it.

Approaching her bed, Angel hesitantly touched her face. He stroke her hair, exposing her neck.

Kate smiled in her sleep.

Angel crouched by her side, looking intensely at her neck as he tried to figure what to do.

Suddenly, he stood up and rushed out.

But, he couldn't go far...

For hours, his agony only kept growing as he waited for her to wake up. He knew it would be easier if he could look into her eyes and hear her talking to him.

Yet, she never seemed to awaken.

Angel couldn't help another trip to her room.

This time, he changed into game face...

He was deaf to anything but the sound of her heartbeat.

His face was buried into her neck when he finally managed to distinguish her voice...

"Angel..."

He morphed back and gazed at her, still shaken. He had been caught! That would most probably mean losing her friendship for all time, yet he was glad she had woken up. He never intended to hurt her. He didn't want to. Only the thirst was too much!

"Angel, what were you doing?"

"I... can't lie, Kate. I was going to drink you."

"Drink me?" She seemed alarmed. "But... I thought..."

"I'm sorry, Kate. I couldn't sleep and then I remembered what Harmony said about the blood... And then I remembered how it felt to drink you and..." Angel was a mess.

"You did? And... How was that, Angel? How did it feel to drink me?"

He shot her a befuddled glance.

"How was it, Angel? Tell me. You never told me... We've never talked about it." She looked calm, now.

"I never thought you would want to talk about it!" He answered, perplexed.

"Well, I do. I'd like to understand it."

"I must be dreaming! Kate, I was going to drink you! ...Aren't you scared?" His eyes were wide in disbelief and her response didn't help to soothe him.

"Should I be? It would not be the first time, after all...", she said, raising her hand to touch the scars on her neck.

He touched them, too. Slowly... Taking in the sensations that came back to him, one by one.

The despair that had taken over him was now gone, though the thirst persisted.

Kate asked again:

"What did you feel then, Angel? Was it just thirst or... was there something more?"

Looking deep into her eyes, he realized there was more.

But... He couldn't tell her. He could barely start to acknowledge what had just dawned on him.

"I... don't know, Kate. What can I possibly tell you?" He couldn't find anything to say... He needed time to sort things out.

"Tell me why. Do you want it?" She wasn't really teasing him, but it felt like that to him. Angel wanted to go away, to leave...

She saw the confusion on his face and she knew there was more. There! She had her answer.

Seeing there was no point in torturing him further, Kate spoke softly:

"You can have it, Angel."

Angel couldn't believe his ears. What did she say?, he thought.

"You can drink me. I know you won't kill me...", she said and brought his face gently over her neck.

He was still in doubt. He smelled her scent and ran his tongue over the scars...

She drew him even nearer and stroke his arm for encouragement.

Kate wasn't really sure why she was doing that. All she knew was her previous experience had left her with more than scars on her skin... and she needed to better understand what had happened.

Angel bit her and she felt it all over again. The same sensations. Even some fear.

But then... He pulled away!

His vamp façade was gone and he started to kiss the wound as if he wanted to make the pain go away.

It was Kate's turn to be confused.

She turned around to look at him and saw the apprehension in his eyes.

Angel stopped kissing her for a minute. Then moved to kiss her on the lips.

Kate wanted that to happen... She had wanted it for a long time. Even when she insisted on hating him, telling everybody (including herself) how low and mean he was.

So, she responded feverishly.

She had started to unbutton his shirt when again he pulled away.

"No, we... can't!" He gulped.

Through the haze that had involved her, Kate figured out that it probably had to do with the girl he had told her about a few nights before. He had said he loved her...

But he had also said they had been apart for almost two years!

"It's ok, Angel. It's not always about love." She thought he had qualms about letting her down after it. But, she... she wanted him anyway!

What's the matter with her? His mind was in a whirl. What is she up to? First, she offers me her blood and now she seems to want sex? Is that it?

"Oh, please! Don't look at me like that! I'm a big girl! I know what I'm doing!" She wanted to scream!

She kissed him again, instead. And hugged him. And caressed him. And...

She didn't need all that much to get him into it.

Angel made love to her passionately.

He actually made love to her. But it wasn't perfect happiness for him, nor perfect despair, either. There was a bit of both intertwined in their love-making, yet none of them was preponderant at any given moment.

Angel was too torn to think or feel straight...

He had just realized that his need was far greater than his thirst.

It was a thirst, in fact. Only it could not be quenched with blood alone. He needed more from her. Much more... He didn't think he could need her like that, yet he did.

But... She didn't love him. It was just sex for her!

Hours later, after the sun finally set, Angel arrived at the Hyperion.

He was beat, having slept close to nothing. His mood was unstable as well.

There was an awkward feeling around them when they parted...

Angel couldn't get over the notion that Kate only wanted sex from him! She risked their friendship just for that. What if they could never get over that?

At the same time, he rejoiced on all that happened. It was so good to have her!

They had just said good-bye and he already wanted to run to her side again.

Should he?

He picked up the phone, still unsure. He dialed and waited. When he heard her voice, he almost hung up. Almost.

Her voice came across, loud and clear:

"Angel? Is that you?"

"Y-yes, it's me.", he stuttered. "I-I just wanted to know if... Well, do you think we can do that again?"

Kate hesitated, but only for an instant.

"I don't see why not. I... liked it very much, Angel.", she said, choosing her words carefully.

Liked it? She liked it? He was feeling frantic, but all he said was:

"Oh, that's... good! So... When do you think...?"

"Anytime is fine by me. You tell." She didn't want to seem too eager.

"Right! I'll call you, then!"